Ten Things that Tell Me I’m a Normal Mom

Ten Things that Tell Me I’m a Normal Mom

So, if you’ve been following my blog you’ll have figured out that I’m a list girl. I’d like to be THE mommy list girl but for now I’m just A list girl.

There are certain things that I never thought I would do in my life. Skydive, skip in the Starbucks queue, work out and not shower, leave my hair unwashed for a week, okay, ten days because my “waves” look more… umm wavy? that way. Well, that list is pretty much nothing compared to what I’ve done as a mom that I never thought I would do:

1) Use my own saliva as a disinfectant and stain remover. Yup, I’ve been seen/caught with spit on my fingers to wipe my daughter’s face.

2) Pee and pull up without wiping – you know you’ve done it too in order to prevent your toddler drinking shampoo/using your hair spray as deodorant.

3) Scoop vomit up with my bare hands. My husband called me a hero that day.

4) Catch poop in your hands… you know, to stop it from coming out and floating about in bath time.

5) Lie and say “I have an emergency” to cut to the front of a line. Usually a bathroom or coffee line. Actually always without a doubt one or the other.

6) Scrape at some sort of dried-up discoloration on my jeans and sniff it to figure out if it was milk or puke. No idea why that would matter but somehow it does. In that moment. Don’t judge.

7) Cry when hugging my mom good morning or simply agreeing to pop out to the mall together while I’m visiting her because we really start appreciating our moms when we’ve become fellow poop-catching, vomit-scooping moms ourselves.

8) Sing the same nursery song 500 times until cranky baby falls asleep whilst holding cranky baby and pacing the same 3 square meters of floor.

9) Fall asleep face-first in a meal at the table/operate machinery when I’m too tired to operate machinery, for example, the breast pump, my electric toothbrush, a car…

10) Decide that bribery is not the worst of the vices and go for it when my daughter’s teacher is complaining about her inability to color in between the lines and I decide that buying her chocolate will get her off my kid’s back.

Yup. These are things that tell me this is all normal and part of mommyhood. Without a doubt.

What have you done that you never thought you would?


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