How I Steal Minutes and How You Can Too

How I Steal Minutes and How You Can Too

I used to lounge. I used to daydream and wait until the top coat on my mani and pedi was dry. Like bone dry. But now I’m a kleptomaniac – I steal minutes.

I now rush. I rush everywhere. I own a lemon press and I squeeze every minute out of the day out of it. I write when I can (mostly when kids are napping or at school or totally mesmerized by Elmo or Barney) and think about what to write or what to feed the kids while peeing. I Google salmon recipes for toddlers while brushing my teeth. Siri hates me. I’m demanding.

No matter what time I wake up I jump out of bed and rush around as though I’m late for a flight or an appendectomy.

So I’ve decided to CTFD (calm the f’ down) and make a few changes. You know, because I’m in my third trimester with baby #3 and my doctor casually asked me if I’ve ever meditated or not… Who has time for meditation? Seriously?

Having said that though, everyone agrees that I do kinda sorta need to slow down and take a deep breath and relax before the perfect storm of three kids hits our household. We can’t wait but I’m also in OCD-organizational mode. I have a huge urge to buy overpriced transparent Muji containers that I don’t need so I can feel better by sorting. Sorting calms me the f down.

Here’s how I am trying to CTFD. You can steal these. Go right ahead so I don’t feel like I’m the only one.

1) I will only hang out with people who make me laugh or add value in some way. Adding value can include that you’re an excellent chocolate chip cookie maker. That’s real value.

2) I will be much more selective with what music I listen to. I will be picky and actually intentionally choose because music sets the mood. Spotify thinks I am in a nightclub wearing all sequins. That ain’t calm.

3) I will spend much more time outdoors because the sound of birds is relaxing and being outdoors just well, gives me perspective. Except when it’s scorching hot. I will take a fan and tan.

4) I’ll stop saying “yes” to things I know I’ll have to cancel later on. It’s such a waste of time and just gives off the impression of being flakey. If it’s not a “Heck, yes!” it has to be a “sorry that’s not aligned with my higher priorities right now.”

5) I’m rewriting my higher priorities to include eating and sleeping. For the rest of 2016 you’ll find me in my PJs and ordering in sweet-and-sour chicken in most nights because sometimes a girl really needs yoga pants and a pineapple reduction. (This one is hard to pull off this week because A) I’m third-trimester starving and my stomach is the size of a walnut so I’m full after one chunk of pineapple and B) my fever-ridden toddler is in cling-to-mama phase where she sobs if I pee.)

So, what have I actually applied so far? Not many of them but I like listing them out because it gives me something to aim for.

I also steal kisses and midnight cuddles (especially with one child glued to my leg), but that’s not really stealing, is it?

*Thanks to Helicopter Mom and Just Plane Dad for publishing it first


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