I was thrilled when Adriana started nursery to hear of a friend she had who was her size, her age and well, had her curly hair! They immediately bonded over swings and spaghetti and before I knew it she was at our house more than a few afternoons a week. Sounds ideal, right? Ummm not so much because this girl was bad news. Sounds horrible to say that about a three year old, but it’s true.
Here’s a handy chart to check if your child’s new bestie is an Okay friend or a Not Okay friend. It’s not like I dropped the Not Okay friend, I just didn’t make it so easy for her to take over our life.
|Okay New Friends||Not Okay New Friends|
|They come over for two hours and not one second longer||They move in to your home|
|Your kid is suddenly interested in your chess board||Suddenly the genitalia is drawn in on your kid’s Barbies, in Sharpie|
|They play tea sets and don’t even spill water everywhere||They play “pretend war” and try to strangle your kid and your baby|
|They volunteer to set the table, make beds, tidy bedrooms and sort the laundry pile for you, talking your kid through how to do this… in French||They criticize the fact that you keep oven trays in the oven and let kids lick the spoon whilst licking all of the spoon|
|They point out places you’ve never heard of on the world map, and offer up a random fact about each country. “That’s Bhutan. The official language there is Dzongkha.”||They hide your wallet and credit cards|
|The only thing they pick is your weak argument of why they can’t have a second slice of pizza
|They pick anything and everything including your own nose and wedgie. #awkward
|Their definition of washing up before dinner is using their tongue as a disinfectant
|There’s no such thing as too much detol|
|They great you with either a handshake, a hug or a high five
|Their way of saying hello is an ass slap or by throwing the nearest toy in your face
|They avoid any hazardous materials like the plague||They seek out hazardous materials like an ex con and consider a day incomplete endless it has ended in fumes or fire
|She is intrigued by the national geographic channel and asks to turn Frozen off after the intro music
|They refuse to watch anything but Frozen…over and over and over again.
I know, I’m not going to be able to control a lot of things as she gets older but for the meantime I’d love her to hang a bit more with Chia Chin who’s sixth language is English, who wouldn’t?