Books, talk shows and girlfriend chit chat centers on how your body changes after kids. From losing hair (I swear I’m almost bald after having 3 in 3 years…) to not being able to lose those last stubborn pounds, everything focuses on the physical appearance of a mama. Oh and how could I forget: preggo/mama brain gets a lot of talk time. Basically we’re telling new moms that you will lose your hair and forget shit. Wait, that’s it? Ummm I don’t think so. What about the emotional stuff they don’t tell you?
1. Any song by Ed Sheeran makes you sob. Also Michael Jackson oh and the theme song to Sesame Street. Basically anything that isn’t dance music. And sometimes, even dance music.
2. You will never be able to look at your gynecologist the same way. In fact, you’ll find someone else for your pap smears because this person has seen your ugly cry go on for hours and hours.
3. Sound the Mama Bear alert: you used to stand up for yourself, but now you stand up for your kids only. Always and first. In fact, you’d be that mama who tries to put an oxygen mask on her toddler before herself (so this is obviously something to watch in yourself!).
4. Your “big deal scale” has changed. You either pushed something out of your vagina or were cut open…so while getting fired will not be a biggie, needing any other medical intervention – even getting a cavity filled – can recharge that groundswell of vulnerability. This extends to cutting your baby’s fingernails. Some of us…Just. Can’t. Go. There.
5. You will cast a self-critical gaze of hatred at your kids… as in, at the attributes your kids inherited from you. I hated my Dumbo ears before but now I REALLY hate them because my 2nd puzzle piece seems to have them. (Note from Editor: Sara, your ears are adorable stop the self-critique!)
Deep breath mamas, no these five will never go away, but you can definitely bond about it with other mamas. Put on some Sheeran and sob. I mean, after talking about who will be bald first.