All mamas have to pay their dues

All mamas have to pay their dues

Every morning I get up at 5:30. My daughter usually gets up at 6:00. I wish I could tell you that I spend those 30 minutes making good use of the time. I really should spend those 30 minutes sleeping, or on the treadmill or baking something. Anything. Instead, I lie there and watch her on the monitor as she sings her half assed ABCs and pretends to change her dolls’ diapers. She actually says, “hold still” only it comes out as “hosill”. And really sounds more like an Asian dish than a command.

After the chaos of breakfast, refusal to wear shoes and breakdown about NOESCOOL – no school, we finally succeed in a complete nursery drop off, my day starts. I head to the same café almost every day no, not so much because the food is good but more so because of convenience. As a mom, convenience means that you can leave mid meal in case of an emergency, forget to pay your bill, and that the bathrooms are clean.

Today, I’m sitting where I always sit, sipping on my usual extra lemony iced lemonade to fight the nausea that seems to be the perfect accessory to any woman’s final stretch of pregnancy. Only today there was something totally different in my line of sight. Very much like a mirage, or unbelievable shiny unicorn, that I had just seen, I couldn’t stop staring. There she was, looking relaxed, holding a book which was actually marked more than 5 pages in. And the best part? She wasn’t alone. She was with her daughter. Okay, so she wasn’t a toddler. She was probably around 8 but, still there was a child with her. An actual child. Yes, sure, this child was potty trained and was clearly tech savvy holding some sort of a mini telephone sized ipad that was posing as a multi functional distraction.

And so, to this lady I can honestly say I am jealous. She sat there for an hour and didn’t ask once if her daughter had to make poopoo….she wasn’t leaning over feeding her. Or saying “no, put it down” or “not in your mouth” or “that’s not how we behave” or “stop it” …

An hour into them sitting next to me I glanced over to see if they had fallen asleep or if they had ordered the bill without me noticing, paid, and left. Probably to go home and braid each others hair? Nope still here. Still reading next to each other. I don’t know how I’m going to get my daughter to sit still without me pretending to read “homemade tagliatelle” as “all children must stay seated in their highchair or their lunch will not be served”. Not the most clever threat but hey, it’s worked so far. At least with my two year old.

It was refreshing not to glance over and see a mom struggling with trying to put her child to sleep with a half erotic shake to post miniscule feed. Mostly because Gina Ford said so, you know, in one of her thousands of schedules. No, this was a fresh perspective…a quick look into the future that there was, in fact, light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sure that she has her own worries, concerns and battles she’s fighting her daughter on every morning. But for now? For now, I’m jealous. She actually ate her whole plate of pasta, managed to go to the bathroom alone and enjoy a bit of silence. many more years do I have until I’m there? She’s paid her dues and for now I have to pay mine…at least for a few more years. Until then though, I guess I’ll just try to “hosill” and enjoy it all.


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