I’ve been recently obsessed with observing how moms behave when at the check out counter. It’s almost like there should be a hidden camera permanently placed there to catch their many embarrassing and less than composed moments. I’ve actually caught myself mid eye roll and deep sigh when the barely out of college cashier refuses to exchange a scarf covered in ducks that I was gifted last Christmas. Big shout out to my MIL for thinking of me.
Ridiculous requests mama:
She’s usually seen trying to exchange an item from 8 months earlier or use a voucher for another store (which has shut down). Clearly not allowed and yet, she will try and try and try and if that doesn’t work she’ll stand there and cry until the manager comes out. She makes stores open up other check-out aisles because the cue behind her snakes out to the frozen section.
Headless chicken mama:
She darts off to grab a few last items. She unloads her entire purse on the carrousel to find her wallet, leaving those around her to gape at the amount of crumb-and-chewed-candy encrusted raisins are rolling around with her iPhone, receipts, Legos and My Little Ponies. But you barely notice for the high-pitched conversation going on between her and her kids about them putting stuff back (namely sugar-laden shit). She leaves things at the cashier, including her baby. Everyone can’t help but help her because we are shit scared we are her on a bad day.
Executive composed mama:
She’s always equipped with a list, an agenda, and a pair of comfy shoes to walk quickly and get things done without the hassle of heels. Her children are not with her. She may have had to give a BJ to get this shopping time alone.
Chilled out cruiser mama:
This mom does not have a list or an agenda or a schedule or shoes. She’s pretty last minute with her tasks and she tunes out her kids’ requests until they give up as she studies the labels on free-range quorn or whatever it is she’s buying. There are no E-additives in her trolley, but neither is there anything edible.
Let’s hug mama:
She is on the lookout for whom to buy groceries for. But when she does it she might also hand out flyers to her next home buying event or workshop on simplifying your life. She’ll also tend to buy the groceries only when she’s in the 10-items-or-less aisle.
Needless to say there’s tons of different mamas and tons of different moments you may catch them in. If they’re being a bit psychotic and are in headless chicken mode please don’t gawk. Just smile and maybe promise her things will get better. You never know if she’s preggo, had just delivered or if she had a bad morning dealing with a grumpy toddler or an even grumier MIL who keeps asking why you’re not wearing her duck scarf gift.