So, I’ve subscribed to Gretchen Rubin’s blog and have almost…okay not almost… read everything she’s ever written. I’m obsessed with her. There I said it. Happy Valentine’s Day to you, Gretchy. You know, because we’re tight like that. She writes with conciseness and clarity and is so freakin’ real it kills me and makes me want to stalk her and show up at her apartment with something.
This post is inspired by Gretchen’s latest article, “For Valentine’s Day: 7 Mistakes I Keep Making in Romance and 5 Things I Do Right.” Except she is clearly way more organized than I am (silent sob) because she published it on February 9.
In with my 6 years of marriage and with 3 very-young kids, I’m very aware of the 7 mistakes I keep making and the 1 or 2 things I do right. Okay, 3 on a good day.
So, Gretchy, if you are reading this (and you are, right?) here’s my 7 Mistakes and 5 Things I Do Right with my hubby since having kids.
- Keep my emotions to myself. I sob, okay? Who doesn’t? But I think I have to start sobbing somewhere where he can’t see me.
- I make the After Effects of #1 into a whole thing. So that’s like Sobbing plus Sobbing about the Sobbing—would that be SoSobbing?
- I’m at the bottom of that list. Like way down. I know I have one body. One life. One chance to take my vitamins, which I totally forgot to take today. Damn.
- I overplan and overcomplicate sometimes…for example, the peacocks at our daughter’s birthday. Necessary?
- I am needy. There, I said it. Guys love that though, right? Right.
- One time I asked him to make dinner. That was a mistake on my part. I can admit that. #hellofoodpoisoning
- I drink too much coffee. The first one is necessary, the second is almost going over the limit. But the third? The third is insanity. I know it and just can’t stop myself.
5 Things I Do Right:
- I listen. I mean really listen instead of thinking of what my next witty comment will be and trying to hold on to the next thing I want to talk about before it escapes my mind and this sometimes involves jotting shit down on a napkin. Discreetly, okay? Geez.
- I no longer give him the opportunity to put me in the “outta sight outta mind” category. I stalk him with messages and post-its and videos when he travels. It’s thoughtful and persistent. I also high-five myself for it.
- My beliefs are things I do right: Everyone should get a dooley glitter-covered card for Valentine’s. Love is never overrated. Cupid does exist. He’s besties with Santa. FACT.
- I put it all out there, and that’s good for the soul. If we argue, we make up. I would never go to bed stewing over what I didn’t say—because I say it alllllll.
- I greet the day with smiles, kisses, dance-offs and end the day the same way. Usually.
I’m not sure if Gretchy would view my mistakes as things I do right, or vice versa, but I am sure that on today—Valentine’s Day—we should all give ourselves a little credit and hug for the things that just feel right.
Happy Valentine’s Day, my little chick peas!