I am a Compulsive Liar

I am a Compulsive Liar
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I am a compulsive liar. It starts the second I get up! “How’re you feeling?” “Great!” Ummm, no… let me be honest here. Chances are that any morning you catch me I’ve crawled to the coffee machine while pulling my jeans on (same as yesterday’s, of course) and haven’t found one clean top to wear. I haven’t been up exercising and making fruit smoothies to serve to my family to start their day. And I haven’t been up meditating or doing 8 Things Before 8 A.M. to power-up my day. My big win is actually getting out of bed and pulling my hair into a scrunchie without a mini-breakdown.

The lies we tell ourselves and other moms and our children really boil down to a handful of Key Fibs we rely on over and over.

I’m not talking about little lies like, “Oh no, it’s okay you stepped on my freshly manicured toenail, the polish held up.” I’m talking about bigger fibs like, “No, your daughter doesn’t look like your mother-in-law,” and other more monumental dishonesties we dish out.

Here are my 15 Key Fibs:

  1. There’s no more.
  2. That’s hot.
  3. That’s spicy.
  4. Everyone is sleeping.
  5. Go hide, I’ll come find you.
  6. You’ll get sick from too much chocolate.
  7. No, I wasn’t just stuffing my face with chocolate. It’s MEDICINE!
  8. This won’t hurt.
  9. Coffee tastes bad.
  10. This is only for seven year olds…wait, how old are you? (As you grip your Starbucks latte).
  11. You’ll like it.
  12. You’ll hate it (usually when I’m eating something yummy, but far from healthy… eg: Pop Rocks)
  13. The police are coming.
  14. Daddy will be mad.
  15. Close your eyes now I’ll be back to check on you in a minute.

It’s really all a lie and I am here to expose the truth. We use what we can and hang on tight to our sanity to get through yet another day.

What are your top lies?

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2 Comments

  1. Angela
    October 18, 2016 / 9:06 pm

    Thank you for posting and sharing this…I laughed the entire time I was reading this. I have used almost every line that you stated. My son is nine. When he was 1 and a half untill the age of four years old I lied almost every day it seemed. My son loved french fries from McDonalds and everytime he saw the arches in the distance he immediately wanted to go. I would pretend I was blind and drive past it asking him, “Where’s McDonalds?”, “Are you sure you saw a McDonalds.” Or ,”I saw a sign in McDonalds window saying there closed today.”

    • October 25, 2016 / 10:15 pm

      hahahah that is hilarious. I love how we suddenly lose all senses…like what was that? Ice what?

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